i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
