why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
