Rock
Scissors
Fuck
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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