So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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