I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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