'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My cat gives me a boner
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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