i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
