And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
