Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
