i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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