Pappa wants mamma naked
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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