every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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