i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
