I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It's never too late to be topless.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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