And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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