I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
