Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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