It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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