She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
