"it" just moved
I smell stomach acid.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
