i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
