I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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