roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
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You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
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Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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