I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
