Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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