you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
