I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i just google imaged poop.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
