So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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