i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
