No awkward lesbian experiences without me
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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