I feel like abortions should bother me more
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
