yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize