Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
