Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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