sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
