ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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