yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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