As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
My vagina is very pro this idea
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
