My friends, they love my intelligence
he wants to bone in the snuggie
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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