Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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