And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
