we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
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