More tranny stories later!
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
