there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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