hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
she peed on how many people?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
