You can't motorboat a personality
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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