lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
