Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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