My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize