id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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