all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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