My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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