I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
