I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize