but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Alive.
So much puke
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
