How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
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Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You've changed since you got that strap on
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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